Bliss...

Bliss= Hamish and M napping at once and an uninterrupted coffee and catch-up of last week's Grey's Anatomy.

Hamish and  I tried story-time at the library this morning and we will be going back next week.  I used to take Abbey and Gabe when they were younger and then we stopped because Hamish at 2 was a wild child.  Think running madly around the library, trying to escape out the door any chance he had and mostly just interrupting the story.  Plus it used to be in the afternoon, so messed up the nap time routine.  Thursday mornings suit us, as Mitchell was on a Mum visit, so it was just Hamish and I.  He didn't quite know what to do when they were singing, but he loved the stories.  Today the stories were about the beach.  Grocery shopping and story-time obviously wore him out, as HE decided he needed a nap!

Hamish got an acceptance into Valley Brook Kindergarten for next year in the mail yesterday.  We decided on a different kinder for him as I think he will really benefit from a structured program, and not many kinders in the city of Casey offer that.  He will also be there with a few kids that he will be in prep with.

A fresh start...inspired

This week I have 're-found' an old friend (work colleague) on facebook, and through her blog been inspired to come back here.  She has 6 kids and still finds time to blog- so if she can do it- then so can I.  It may be hard to find the time, but it's definitely worth it to read back on little memories of the kids which otherwise would have been lost forever.

This time I want to include little bits about me and what is important to me as a Mum and as a person.  So lets see how I go.

Right now I'm a 37 year old mostly-SAHM.  Still usually work 1 shift per week in a small rehab hospital.  I work with some great people, the work is mostly low-stress and sometimes it's just nice to get out of the house, have some adult conversation and also feel like I am contributing financially a little bit.  I work mostly afternoon shifts and so miss bedtimes on those days.  I miss that time with my babies and I know they miss me.  Especially hard when my big 2 (although Hamish keeps telling me he is big too) get dropped off at school in the morning and then they don't see me until the next morning.  Love working casually though- so that I work when it suits ME and I don't miss out on anything important in my kids lives.  Love my husband of 12 (yes 12!) years and love that he is an involved father.  Also love that our different approaches to parenting (usually) compliment each other so well.  Just had parent-teacher interviews this week and we must be doing something right, because we got told by both teachers that our kids are pretty special!  And what parent wouldn't love to hear that?

Abbey is 7 (how did that happen)?  Seems a life-time ago before she existed and we both worked full-time.  We thought we were busy back then.  We are busy now- but our lives are so much more fullfilled.  Abbey is in Grade 1, loves school, loves her friends and tries so hard at everything she does.  Her and Gabe are still super-close, just like twins (which is what lots of people think- as they are the same height).  Abbey and Gabe have sleep-overs in each others rooms every weekend.  Most importantly Abbey is growing into a beautiful girl inside and out.  She has a heart of gold, is very thoughtful towards others feeling, shy and non-confrontational (actually quite like her Mum!), and much to my delight has just developed a love of shopping!  Abbey and I enjoyed a 'girls day' last Sunday (organised at the last minute) and she loved helping me choose some new clothes and also a few small things for herself.  Her other passion is her dancing.  Twice a week we go to ballet & tap dancing classes. 

Gabe is 5.  Enjoying Prep.  In fact didn't want 2 weeks off for the holidays as "that's boring and I won't learn anything".  Although he tells us he doesn't like play-time at school- "only learning time"- he has made some great friends this year.  Diagnosed with epilepsy last year- which took a lot of getting our heads around and changing our way of thinking.  We are now happy that he has been seizure-free for 6  months on Epilim.  He even made it through the flu with 24 hrs of 38 degree  plus temps (on regular Panadol) with no seizures.  So quietly we have done a little happy dance around here!  We just have to get through another 18 months seizure-free- then can think about weaning off the Epilim.  BUT this past year has taught us to live a little more in the moment.  I try not to think too much about what Gabe's future will be like if is involves Epilepsy.  Right now he is happy and learning and that is what matters.  Doesn't help that I worked in neuroscience for 7 years, and don't think I ever met anyone with Epilepsy who didn't also have developmental delays or serious health issues.  Gabe is very lucky to be so well controlled on 1 drug, and although it was hard to find the right dose- I will be forever grateful that we did.  Gabe hasn't found an extra-curricular activity that he wants to try yet.  He very patiently (well sometimes not so patiently) sits and waits for Abbey at dancing each Wednesday and Saturday BUT he loves watching the concert each December and he is ok with that!

Oh and just to give an example of Gabe's love of learning and fact-gathering, he woke me up at 6.40 this morning (on a Saturday) to tell me all the facts about the planets and the universe that he learnt yesterday.  He had probably been thinking about it all night!

Hamish turned 4 in May.  He is still our funny little guy.  Goes to 3 year old kinder this year 2 days a week at a local community centre.  Monday's I stay as the class volunteer, which he loves.  Wednesdays he goes into occasional care after kinder, so I have Wednesdays 9.30 -2.30 to myself.  Wednesdays they have a Afghan playgroup in the same area of the centre and Hamish has made friends with a little girl, who follows him around and pretty much the only English word she knows is 'Hamish'.  Her Mum brings Afghan treats each week which Hamish enjoys.  The way to Hamish's heart is definitely food- loves pretty much anything except meat (has to be in the mood).  Which is very refreshing after 2 extremely fussy eaters!   He is very sociable and a little bit crazy (like his
Dad).  Makes my life interesting, not shy at all, and we have already warned the school that they will have fun when he starts!  Hamish also decided to do dancing this year, so he does tiny-tots dancing on a Saturday morning with a friends little girl.  So cute and definitely can't wait for the concert!

Oh and yes we are accredited foster carers.  Currently we have M living with us.  2 years old and looks like he will stay at least until November.  Visits Mum 3 times a week with the plan to go back to her hopefully by the end of the year.  M is our 5th foster child.  Abbey, Gabe and Hamish love having an 'extra' here; and honestly we all have to be on board for it to work.  We all just survived school holidays with the flu- which was very miserable!  So it is actually nice to be back into normal routines this week.

These photos are from a recent winter adventure to the park near my sister Donna's house in St Kilda.  It was cold and miserable, and the easy thing would have been to stay home.  We ventured out though, and Abbey and Gabe got to try their 1st donut ever at Glick's Bakery (Kosher) and loved it.  Anaphylaxis to cows milk means that most treats like donuts are off-limits.

Time to come back...

Life just got busy and in the process I have missed recording lots of little moments.

Abbey and Gabe are as close as ever, and after spending all year sleeping in the same room and taking turns sleeping on a 'little bed' (fold-up bed), we bought bunks for Gabe's room so they could be together in comfort!

Abbey is about to start orientation for her school next week & is very excited. I am off to a parent information night tomorrow night & very excited.

Gabe has spent his Wednesdays at Pelican Childcare this year doing their 3 yr old program instead of going to a 3 yr old kinder & has shown us that he is a little bit shy. The very same child who talks to anyone, finds it hard to make friends. But he is a new 4 yr old & can't wait to go to Abbey's kinder next yr.

Hamish who I despaired would never talk, has just stopped his beautiful baby babble & now is trying so hard to speak in little sentences. And he has an obsession with cars & counting. My favourite thing to hear is "lubba you too Mummy".

And just to add to the chaos we are in the process of becoming foster carers! So let's hope we are approved and maybe have a baby here for Christmas.

The order of things...

Gabe is trying to work out the ways of the world. He tells us that when he was a baby, Hamish was a big boy. And now Hamish is a baby, so he is a big boy. He also doesn't like Abbey telling him she is bigger. "But I'm big too Mummy".

Abbey has decided she likes a soft pink baby blanket that used to be mine. I told her today that it was mine when I was a baby. I didn't even realise that Gabe was listening. "But who was your Mummy then Mummy" :). Oh the innocence!

A very sad day...

Our day began at 4am. Ernie woke us up literally crying at the lounge room window. He even woke Aaron up & usually not even the kids do that. This was after I went to bed too late as usual around 12.30, and Gabe woke me up twice just to tell me he fell out of bed. He was fine but apparently just wanted to let me know :).

I had fed Ernie about 12 & given him a little water. He seemed fine, nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't hear a peep out of him the two times Gabe & I were wandering the house. Not sure of those times but maybe at 2 & then 3? At 4 he definitely wasn't fine. He was very distressed & thank goodness Aaron woke spontaneously & I didn't have to spend time trying to wake him. Ernie wasn't limping or anything else obvious & then it didn't take us long to realise that his belly was very swollen & seeming to bet bigger by the minute. He couldn't really lie down properly at this stage. I called our vet's and the emergency message said to go to Hallam Veterinary Hospital for emergencies after hours or they would be open from 10am (today being Good Friday). Aaron got him to Hallam by 4.45am as we quickly decided that there was no way we could wait until 10. By the time they got there he was quickly assessed and had a pulse of over 300. An x-ray revealed a twisted stomach caused by bloat. Something I had never heard of until today but is apparently the 2nd leading cause of death in dogs after cancer. We were offered the option of surgery (for $3000), but with no guarantees. A blood test with some kind of marker (?blood gas) was 5.8. We were told there was no hope if it was over 6. So we opted to let him peacefully go to sleep.

RIP our sweet Ernie. 21st December 2002 - 10th April 2009.

He was a dog like no other, and our 1st (fur) baby. For a Cocker Spaniel he was amazing. Beautiful, loving, obedient (mostly) but with the craziness of a spaniel thrown in.

He was wonderful with the kids. We never had any transitional problems with him when we brought Abbey home. The only change in his behaviour was that he growled at any strange male who entered our house once Abbey arrived. Very bravely from the safety of his bed! And then he quickly adapted to 2 more babies joining our family, all within the space of 3 yrs and 3 months. Abbey has always just accepted him being around. To her "Nernie" was a friend. She even called her lovey "Nee" which we can only think must be after Ernie. Until she was able to play with Gabe, Ernie was her playmate. Gabe has always been more wary of him & of any dogs. Just this week he has finally taken the huge step of playing outside with Ernie around, instead of having Ernie came inside whilst he was out! And the weird thing was both kids spent all morning Wednesday & Thursday outside playing with Ernie. Normally for Ab it was always in short bursts. It was almost as if they knew and needed that time. I hope they have some memories. And as for Hamish, he loved Ernie most of all. I am sad just that he won't have the chance to really play with him. That would have been wonderful to watch. From the moment he started crawling his 1st destination was Ernie. Poor Ernie tolerated having his hair pulled & the baby kisses.

I even saw my big strong husband cry today. And as for me- well I have alternated feeling guilty that I haven't had enough time for Ernie lately & just plain sad that we don't have him any more. I may have had less time for him, but the kids made that up to him I think. I think he knew he was very loved. And I think that anyone who knows us- understands that- because everyone who knows us, knows Ernie. He always amazed everyone that he came straight inside onto his bed & stayed there. We wanted him inside, but we didn't want a dog roaming all over our house, shedding & making it 'doggy'. This was our compromise, he had his controlled inside time, but slept in his kennel outside the back door. The only time he ever left his bed was one night Aaron had friends over playing computer games & I came out to see him playing soccer in the lounge with a big soft ball. He was though still a puppy at the time! And another time Abbey was sick and for some reason I was home with her myself. Ernie seemed to know and came to check that she was ok. Oh and the vaccumm was enough to send him on his way too. Abbey would sit with him on his bed when she was a baby to escape the vaccuum!

Right now he is still at the vet's but on Sunday we are planning to take his body to Omeo to bury him & have a little ceremony. Hopefully this will help the kids just a little. Death is a difficult concept for an adult, but trying to describe the difference between a spirit and a body, and heaven, and that dead means gone forever to a 4 yr old & a 2 1/2 yr old is near impossible. Lately the big kids have been obsessed with looking at the moon every night. Well tonight Aaron told them that heaven is at the moon, so that they can see the moon and know that Ernie is watching them from there. I thought that was a beautiful symbolic concept. In fact I might even use it myself for some comfort!

A kindred spirit...

I worked yesterday. I met a 92 year old lady (Nelly) who was feeling anxious and simply needed someone to talk to. Nellie told me she had had a good life, had no financial worries and didn't know why she got this feeling of 'having the world on her shoulders'. We talked about family, and she was surprised to hear that I had 3 children of my own, as I looked too young. She though it was wonderful that I chose to work only 1 day a week (or fortnight) to be around for my kids, and that usually if I'm not with them their Dad is. She told me that made me a wonderful Mum, to want to be with my children and raise them, instead of constantly handing them over to someone else. That children need to feel that they are important in their parents lives. I told her I chose to work occasionally to give myself a break & also to supplement our finances.

Nellie told me that looking back on her 92 years; the happiest time of her life was when her own 3 children were little. She said they didn't have 2 pennies to rub together, her husband worked hard & long hours, but she was happiest. She could have been describing my life currently. I try to leave our financial situation out of here. This blog is for Abbey, Gabe & Hamish and the little snippets of life that I want to remember, but hidden at the back of my mind constantly is worry about money. Nellie made me realise that really in the Grand scheme of things that doesn't really matter. Yes more money might equal less stress, but the kids are too little to know anything about this. As children, they are blissfully unaware of money. They are just as happy going for a simple walk or a trip to the park, as an adventure that costs money. Our job is to make their childhood happy & full of lots of experiences, and that doesn't have to equal lots of money. Talking to Nellie was great for us both. She needed someone to listen & she had a message that I needed to hear!

A year full of Wednesdays...

My baby girl has started kinder this year. She goes on Mondays, Tuesdays & Fridays. We all still go to playgroup on Thursdays, so Wednesdays are our 'free' day. It hit me the other day that this year will go too quickly as time does, and next year I will only have snippets of each day with her. So I have decided that Wednesdays will be our day to do something special each week.

It would be easy to make Wednesdays our slack day, to stay in our PJ's way too late & to do not much of anything. But I'm going to make a list of things/activities to do & start making the most of 'our day'.